I try not to get too deep and personal in this space because I don't necessarily want the blog to read like a diary. Plus, this would be the most boring diary ever if I did.
"Dear Diary,
Today I went to work. After work I went the library to study. When I left the library to go to the gym, I saw a puppy..."
You get the idea. Today, however, I feel a pull on my heart to share something with you. To be transparent and open my heart to you. I have a sneaking suspicion that many of you may wrestle with this too.
My biggest fear, and secret that I hold closest to my heart, is that the desires of my heart are not going to be part of God's will for my life. It's not like I want bad or selfish things, I just wonder if my heart isn't aligned to God's will sometimes because these things seem to keep passing me by. Or worse, they seem to be just out of reach constantly. It's frustrating and even heart breaking at times. And I'm scared to want these things, and hope for them, and pray for them only for them to not be part of the plan. It's silly and slightly selfish, I know. I feel it nonetheless. Sometimes my faith isn't as strong as I think it is.
A friend shared this song with me today:
A particular lyric really stuck with me: "What I need is for You to be the thing I need." It is something that my heart so earnestly prays for, and it goes hand in hand with this fear I have. I want God to replace the desires of my heart, innocent as they are, with only a desire for Him. To glorify Him and know Him more. I know that if the Lord is the desire of my heart, I will never be disappointed. I will never have to wonder if my heart is in the right place.
When I started writing this, I immediately turned to Psalm 37. I just want to share with you the bits that jumped out at me most. They were things like "Do not fret", "Trust in the Lord", "Delight yourself in the Lord", "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him". It's pretty amazing how my Father knows exactly what I need to hear.
I'm blogging again, and it's Friday. You know what that means. Five Fave Friday in full effect! Five Fave Friday is where I share my top 5 favorite things for the week, mostly things that I have found on the Internet. Most of these things can be found pinned to my Pinterest board of the same name here. This week has brought me so many good things! A new position at work, new friends, an awesome thunder-blizzard (you may not know it, but I LOVE snow), opportunities to invest in people, and a slightly clearer focus on this season of my life (because Christians love calling our life stages "seasons"). It has just been an all around amazing week, and it started so humbly. Oh! And I now haveFOURpeople following my little blog! You guys are awesome. I'm truly blessed.
This weeks five faves seem to have a lot to do with Youtube. Here they are, in no particular order:
This little dude is just pure awesome. It will make your day. Be sure to subscribe to the Youtube Channel. Thanks to my friend for sharing this with me.
The person who did this is a genius.
This is Willie Moore Jr. and he is hilarious. This video is so funny, and it has a fantastic moral message. Trust me. Almost as good as Kid President. Almost. Be sure to subscribe to his Youtube Channel too. Thanks to one of my other friends for sharing this one!
The final two things on my list are a couple of blog posts I read this week that just really gave me a huge change of perspective, and I absolutely love when that happens. I enjoy being challenged and growing. This one from Jon Acuff (of Stuff Christians Like and Quitter fame) made me take a step back and remember how madly I am loved by my Creator. And this one from Relevant Magazine gave me a lot to think about where relationships are concerned. Both of these are great reads, you won't regret it.
Stay tuned next week to see what random jewels I find to share with you!
Over the last 6 or 7 months I have found that my circle of friends has expanded like whoa. That means a lot. And I found myself thinking quite often, "What are these people in my life for? What are they here to show me? To teach me? What am I supposed to be learning from them, about myself or the world around me?" Then, it struck me this morning how absolutely self-centered my thinking has been. These people might not be in my life for me. I might be in their life to show them something. Maybe they aren't here to help and grow me, maybe I was put in their path to help and grow them. Then I became sad and started thinking about how many opportunities I may have missed to invest in others just because I was so wrapped up in what they were possibly doing for me.
How radically different would the world be if we stopped thinking about only ourselves?
The kingdom wasn't created for us, we were created for the kingdom.
This morning, after checking Facebook (you know it's the first thing you do too), I began checking my email. I'll admit to being one of those people who doesn't delete anything. Yep...one of those people. Waiting for me among the weeks of unopened mail was a post from one of my favorite blogs, SingleRoots. The title indicated that it was about loneliness. Admittedly, I rolled my eyes. Because, really? Another blogpost about loneliness and singledom? Ignoring the hipster in my heart telling me that it was so cliche and I should move on, I read it anyway. And it pointed me to the truth.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 God is trying to drive a point home in my life. So often I think we can easily fall in to believing the lies that The Enemy whispers to us. At those times, it is so important to stop and give yourself a mental slap in the face. Check yo' self, befo' you wreck yo'self, if you will. As Paul urges the church at Philippi (pretty sure I butchered that one), whatever is true, we should remind ourselves and meditate on. Now, I'm not just talking about the absolute truth of scripture, and God's love. I'm also talking about the truth in the many situations we face daily. The little things that we can so often allow to unnecessarily get under our skin and mess with our heads and hearts (which we also need to guard) also need a dose of truth. Things aren't always what we are led to believe. I don't know about you, but I constantly have to check myself and I am so thankful that God revealed His truth to me today. Take that, inner hipster.
Thanksgiving is the day when most Americans will gather together with family and friends and ruminate on all the blessings they are thankful for. Laying here in bed this morning, I began to do just that. While I am in awe of the new blessings the Lord gives me each and every day, the holidays make me even more aware of them and I begin to count them. It seems though, no matter what kind of year I've had, I am always overwhelmed by the goodness and grace of my Savior. This year, the past two really, has been no exception.
In scripture it says, in Romans 8:28: "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." The Lord has faithfully proven this to me on more than one occasion over the last two years. I've dealt with abuse, depression, divorce, unemployment, financial crises, moral missteps, death, and numerous family issues. Some might look at that list and wonder how anyone could see any goodness in that. Some might look at that list and pity me. It's true that I have experienced enough heartache to make even Annie stop singing about tomorrow, but I have also experienced so much love and personal growth. I am so filled with joy when I think of all the goodness I've experienced in the midst of these trials that my heart is bursting at the seams. I want to shout from the rooftops how great my God is and how much I love Him! I think I'm beginning to understand why David wrote the Psalms.
Through all the bad, I've renewed friendships, created new ones, and learned how important they are. If you are reading this, and you know who you are, I want you to know that God used your fellowship to help me through some of the darkest hours of my life. I am thankful for each of you, and praise God for allowing me to know each of you, however long we may have together. Out of unemployment, I was given not only a job that I love, but a godly employer and co-workers that feel more like family. I don't think I ever fully appreciated being employed until I wasn't anymore, and now being given such a wonderful job that I love and wonderful co-workers, I can say that this area of my life is one that I am truly excited about every day. I love the work I do and I can't wait to see what God is going to do with it. In my financial crises, I've been shown what God can do with less, and to be content with less. More than that, to rejoice in having less. I've learned how to manage my finances wisely, with biblical principals. Through death and family trials I have learned to love and value the (sometimes messy) relationships I have with them. I've grown closer to them, I can't even begin to calculate how valuable that is and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I'm especially thankful today that my brother, who wasn't able to be with us for the holidays last year, will be here today. He is alive, healthy, happy, and free from his chains. I can't praise God enough for that.
There are so many more blessings I could list, but I'll end with my greatest and that's this: through everything, I have learned to lean on God and trust him fully with my life. He has faithfully proven to me over and over that he is good, that he loves me (and you too, more than we can fathom), that he will never leave me, that he will never fail me. It's not always easy to lay my burdens at his feet, but when I finally do my Savior comes through in ways I never imagined possible. My greatest blessing is knowing my Heavenly Father, the personal relationship I have with him, and being able to share that with you.
I hope your holiday is filled with warmth, love and fellowship with those dearest to you.
I can't believe I almost overlooked it! April 14th marked the one year anniversary of The Brighter Side. I gotta say, I'm in awe of what the Lord has done. He took little old me, who has always hated writing, and sparked this passion in me to write. What started out as something to share and grow my photography has morphed in to something else entirely. Part journal, part comedic commentary, part devotional. As I said, I'm just in awe of Him. I fully expected to abandon this blog within 2 months of starting it, and here I am a year later...still clacking away on my keyboard. I haven't written as many posts as I would have liked to, but I didn't give up either. I searched for a verse to adequately sum up what this anniversary means to me, and as usual, the Lord pointed me to exactly what I was looking for: "May the glory of the Lord endure forever; may the Lord rejoice in his works--" Psalm 104:31. It is my sincere prayer that the Lord rejoices at what he has accomplished in and through me, and that he continues to use me and my little blog to bring blessings and beauty into the lives of others.
***Note: I started this on Friday, but the subject matter is so important, I took my time completing it.***
It's been a while since I've posted anything, but I just haven't really been inspired lately. I've been having a major case of writers block I guess. Lucky for you though, something inspired me today. Jesus.
Today is a day that Christians observe as the day that Jesus was crucified. Denied and betrayed by his friends, beaten, ridiculed, and nailed to a cross to die by the very people he loved and came to save. I've been trying to think of a way to relate this to our lives, an example I could give to help wrap your head around the love, faith, and obedience it took to make that sacrifice, and I thought of a few. Each time I wrote them it seemed to trivialize what Jesus did. What God did. Even now, my words seem so weak.
God knew what was going to happen, Jesus knew what had to happen, and each of them, Father and Son, out of love followed through. Jesus was fully God, but also fully human. He prayed not once, but twice for this burden to be taken from him...for his dad to make it stop (Matthew 26: 39, 42). He was afraid and anguished over what he knew was coming (Matthew 26: 37, 38). It was obedience and love for his Father and His Fathers creation that helped him see it through to the end. He even prayed for us (John 17: 20-26, Luke 23: 34), the ones responsible for His death, the ones He came to save.
I can only imagine the way it must have felt. Mary, watching her son, her baby boy, being beaten and ridiculed. Watching him die and wanting nothing more than to take his place, to make the pain and hurting stop like any mother would want to do for her child. Yet, she was helpless. I can only speculate that God maybe felt the same way, the only difference being he could have stopped it, but knowing that in this sacrifice He was saving His people, His creation. And Jesus, enduring it all, because He to knew the greater good of bringing us into a direct relationship with God would far outweigh His short, albeit excruciating, suffering.
That is love. (Romans 5:8, John 15:13)
It's a beautiful thing. We no longer have to be slaves to our sin. We all sin, every last one of us. We aren't worthy of the gift of mercy and grace that God poured out so extravagantly for us. It says in the Bible that the punishment for sin is death (Romans 6:23). That always scared me as a kid because I never got past the first part of that verse. But, the second part is the best part! That sacrifice was made for us through Jesus! We don't have to suffer because of our sin anymore. That sacrifice was made for all of us, too. It's just a matter of believing, having faith that Jesus is who He said he is, and in what He accomplished on the cross and in His resurrection.
Please keep in mind that I am in no way a biblical scholar or a pastor. I'm not perfect and never will be. I'm simply a passionate believer who loves Jesus. I've experienced the freedom, hope, peace, healing, and joy that comes from a relationship with God, and I just want as many people as possible to be able to experience that for themselves.
